Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Falling Off, Trying to Get Back On...

I'm not going to lie, I am struggling hard core with shit right now.  Last week was major issues with school work and a total lack of motivation. I got that all back on track, but ate like a fat cow while doing it. I don't know if it is my anxiety that takes over in these situations, but it's like my brain can only process so much, so when I get into panic mode I totally forget about anything healthy and go back to bum mode. I did decent with my October challenge, I am currently debating posting my before and after, maybe I'll do that post tomorrow.

 Oh yeah.... we bought a freaking house! This sounds really cool, which it is. BUT, we do not do anything "normal" - we bought said house from a tax auction - without ever seeing the insides. Ry and I have been talking about buying a house for a long time, that is one of the main reasons that he is in a Afghanistan right now. He and his dad had been doing a lot of research into this particular auction ad the proprieties that were up for sale. We ended up with six possibilities, so my FIL to be, Mark and I, went to the auction Tuesday morning. This was the most nerve racking experience of my life. I almost peed my pants during the bidding for our first potential properties, which we did not win. It was my first choice, a cute little town house in a really nice neighborhood. It was a fixer-upper, but it seemed very manageable. At this point I was so disappointed, I was ready to call Ry and tell him this was all for nothing. Then before I knew it we were the highest bidder for a seemly nice 4 bedroom house in an older neighborhood. It took a minute to sink in that we actually just bought a house, pretty much sight unseen. Ryan's dad finally was able to get a peek at the inside over the weekend (legally we aren't supposed to do anything with the property until the paper work is finalized).  There isn't much to see inside the house, because it is practically gutted. No kitchen, no downstairs bathroom, not much drywall, oh and no stairs down to the basement. We wanted a fixer-upper, and boy we sure got one! Holy shit... I mean we have a lot of people willing to help and that have enormous amounts of talents, including my FIL who is an electrician and my dad is an awesome DIYer, not to mention that Ryan is pretty handy himself. I know that we will be able to make this house in to an actual home - it is just going to take forever a while. This past week has been full of research, ideas, planning, and a little bit of apprehension. This is a really cool thing, and it is going to be awesome when it's done, but I can't help but to be a little nervous! Plus, there are going to be so many projects to document and blog about!! ...and a legit reason to be on Pintrest so much!

The House!

So I'm thinking that there is no coincidence that my down hill slide to fat girl status started on Tuesday and has just kept right on trucking this whole week. I worked four nights in a row, which were four awful nights of being totally exhausted, and a whole extra hour of work on Saturday night, thank you daylight savings time. I really tend to struggle when I have so many things on my plate. I'm going to keep trying, one step at a time. That is all I can do, I need to get over myself and get my shit together. I don't know how some people have it so together, or maybe they are just better at pretending than me. I can't lie, I cannot wait until the day when school is over, this will be soon, but just not soon enough. Some times I think that if it wasn't for school, that my weight loss would go easier, but this isn't true. I lost the first twenty pounds while I was in school, so I know for a fact that it is possible. It would give me more time and more flexibility, but being in school does not mean that I can't eat healthy or exercise. I need to remember this and tell myself that I can do it.